Puzzle Of Our Lives Part 3

At one point we have all these pieces together on the inside of the puzzle frame and then we recognize something is just not right. We just don't know how to fix it. Another person comes along to look at the puzzle and then it clicks. I n...eed to turn the table around--no I need to turn the puzzle around, but how do I do that with all these big pieces that are already hooked together. She thought I may have to start over. Isn't that just like us with our life. We think we can do everything ourselves with no outside help. God brings people into our lives not to hurt us but to perfect us to where we all fit together.

Puzzle Of Our Lives Part 2

When starting to put the puzzle together I just wanted to put the puzzle together, that is typical of some of us--just let Me do it. I don't need anybody else, but it takes people that I'm not familiar with to get the pieces together. Just like the puzzle of life we need to be able to let people in to make our pieces fit together, because just 1 piece is not a puzzle in it's self

Puzzle Of Our Lives Part 1

I have started my puzzle and the first thing I got from it was that the box would represent our body. So here I go trying to get this box open and I could not get it open it was so wound up. To me that would repesent us as a mummy so bound up, not wanting to let anything in or anything out. Getting back to the box I finally got a knife and stuck down in the edge and went from there. Just like us we don't want to give up our wants and trade them for what God has for us.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn Part 5

Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come.  With the help of God , he turned a bad situation into a good one.  It did and still is taking time to filter through all the emotions that go with abuse.  One thing I know is that it can be done.  We need other people in our lives to help in times like what I went through.  Hurting People Hurt People, Healed People Heal People.




My life was a mess when this picture on the left was taken. The scars I had were more internal. To the normal eye all you can see is the big glasses and my smile, but there was so much pain inside. I was lost, confused, and did not know what to do.


I knew there was a God, but I really did not know Him. I didn't know God had a plan for my life. I just did not know. I did not know how much He loved me.
I found out He loved me unconditionally. I also found out that I did not love myself. It has taken years to overcome the insecurities in my life, but with His help I am overcoming. It takes faith to believe He loves you. All things are possible to those who believe.
This is for those people that have given up hope. If there was hope for me, there is hope for you.
This is just a visual reminder that God is faithful.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn Part 4

I started going to domestic violence meetings, which really helped me a lot,  even if all they did was listen.  I really did not have anybody I could trust to talk to, so this was the perfect setup. I was around people who did not know me and I did not know them. Just the way I liked it. In the meantime, my mom and dad built a new house.  Me and my children lived with my parents two years.  It took that long to get my ex-husband to sign the papers. 

My dad gave me some land and I built a new house. It was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time.  A fresh start. Ladies, think on that one.  I always say, "This journey called life can either make you bitter or better."  I was bitter for awhile,  who wouldn't be. Everything we go through in life can be a stepping stone if we let it.  

I did deal with a fear of the unknown as I started back on my journey again.  Fear will stop you so dead in your tracks if you let it.  I chose to keep moving on.  One thing I hope as you continue reading my story that what I went through was to help someone else. You can make it, too. 

To be continued...

Every Rose Has Its Thorn Part 3

After the ER visit, I had to make a police report. I had to relive the whole ordeal again. They asked all the questions and filed the report. I was just going through the motions to be honest with you. Filing the police report was the first step to putting to the pieces of my life and my children's life back together.

I hardly remember driving back home from the ER. Everything was just one big blur. My whole life was turned upside down. The home I had lived in for the past twelve years was just snatched like a magician would do if he pulled the table cloth from the table. I tried to sleep that night but of course that did not go so well. I woke as usual the next morning for go to work. Could you imagine having to go into work with bruising on both arms and on my neck? Still, I had to sit and do my job and endure the stares from co-workers. I had to start moving on with my life no matter how hard it was.

My new life begins.


My children and I started living with my parents again after all those years of being married and now this. I am thankful that we had a place to stay. My nightmare was still not over by a long shot. I went through a stage of depression that was absolutely unimaginable. I needed something to occupy my mind so I started painting these ceramic statues and bigger ones, too. This helped a lot. I would be so consumed with painting them. I never neglected my kids, though. I would wait untill they went to bed, and then I would paint away. I even let them help paint, too. I was not the only one dealing with issues.

To be continued...

Every Rose Has Its Thorn Part 2

Daniel came back with my keys, and we hurriedly got into my car. As he gave me the keys,
I locked the doors as fast as I could. My (then) husband came walking in front of my car. I was determined to get out of there. All I remember was putting the car in reverse and my (then husband) running down the driveway as we were backing up. I got to the end of the driveway, never looking to see if anything was coming, and the next thing I know my (then) husband was diving onto the hood of my car. He was yelling,"I'm sorry and I'll never do it again," but at that point something snapped in me. I thought to myself, "Enough is enough."

Thinking back on that day now, when my then husband was gripping the hood of my car, it almost seemed as if he was trying to hold on to any shred of life left. He had a moment of clarity, only to realize that his family was slipping through his fingers because of all that had taken place.

I was in a daze and in total shock as I drove around for one hour not knowing what I was going to do next. I knew I could not go back to him. For whatever reason, I did not want to go to my mom and dad's house. I ended up going to my aunt's house and she kept telling me that I should go to my parents, so I did.

I was so ashamed because this happened to me. I hated it for my kids and everyone else that had to be around me. Everyone looked at me with pity in their eyes, awkwardly shifting their weight from one side to the other if they happened to run in to me while I was in town. In some ways, that made things worse because people didn't know what to say. I just wanted to be treated like a normal person, but what had happened to me was anything but normal.

Later that day, I decided I should go to the hospital to let the doctor look at me. I probably looked awful, but at least I was alive. I can remember laying on the hospital and hearing footsteps that sounded just like my (then) husband's boots coming down the hall. That sound was ingrained into every fiber of my being, so it was hard to adjust to sounds of every day living and not experience that dreadful fear that feels as if its going to leap out of your chest.

After what seemed like forever, the nurse came and did the x-rays. No broken bones. I did have some damage to my right ear where the cartilage had been torn, and the ER doctor said it may be permanent. While me (and my children) were free from that prison physically, I wasn't free mentally.

To be continued...