I Don't Miss It

I don't miss having to change into these gowns five days a week

I don't miss laying under the machines and being zapped five days a week. I don't miss it at all.

I made some awesome friends while being treated. I will miss their smiling faces and encouragement. One thing is for certain I won't miss being treated. I know it will take time for things to go back to normal, but I know they will. God is a restorer of all things and He is restoring everything the enemy put in my path. The Lord will never fail those who believe and put their trust in Him.

Thank you Lord for a new season in my life.

HER-2 Test

Surgery was successful. Thanking God this part was over.

They were going to start treatment on September 11^th, but the doctors couldn’t do that. During an appointment with the medical oncologist, he discovered the HER–2 test results were not in. They had to have those results before the treatment plan could be finalized.

Finally, they got the results in but they were unequivocal, which means they were not positive or negative.

So, he told the pathologist to send off for another test, which wouldn’t be in until 7-10 days. To make it even later, Labor Day delayed it a little bit also.

I went back to my surgeon on September 12^th and told them we were waiting on the HER 2 test results. He said, “Oh, we have those results.” We were so happy that we could finally get the ball rolling.

After looking, it was the same results we already had. So, we waited some more.

The mapping appointment had to be rescheduled, too. They said if you had the mapping done and then the HER -2 came back positive and you needed chemo, you’d have to do the mapping again.

I had already made up my mind that whatever was needed to be done whether it be chemo or just radiation, that was what I needed. I didn’t say wanted, but needed.

September 23, 2016 was the first radiation treatment.

Oncologist

My daughter said to me, “What if it’s caused by something I’ve done? I had been worrying about the boys and had talked about it way too much. Maybe I caused Mama to get sick. I told her that did not cause anything. We have and enemy and he comes to steal, kill, and destroy, I told her, “that I was not going to be one that he could destroy. “ I know the Word and I know healing belongs to me. I will fight the fight with God’s help and we will win.

I had to get some paperwork to take back to Medlink to file for insurance.

What happened next was a miracle. The lady at Medlink helped me fill out over twenty pages for Medicaid. That NEVER HAPPENS. Her mother had ovarian cancer, so she knew exactly what to put. Even better, I was approved THAT day!!!

It turns out this lady went to our church years ago. She was a godsend.  My primary care physician wanted me to see the oncologist first. I didn’t know why. He said that was his preference.

 I had an appointment with the oncologist for Thursday, August 4^th.

On the way home from church, I asked my daughter to call Memaw to see if she saw the oncologist first. She said, “No, I went straight to the surgeon. I was wondering why you would see the oncologist first.

That night, my daughter and I both didn’t sleep much.  I had a horrible night because I thought I had messed up by agreeing to see the oncologist first. This was all new to me.  I didn’t know how everything worked.

Since the tumor was small, they recommended a lumpectomy. I had an appointment with the breast surgeon August 8^th, 2016.

I told them, “I just want it out. Maybe they can do it this week!”

The surgery was scheduled for August 18^th. Pre-op on August 11^th.

My emotions were all over the place. I thought since everything else had moved so fast, the surgery would be that week. “It can’t come soon enough,” I said.

When it didn’t work out that way, I was disappointed.

I had stage 1 ductal carcinoma.

I felt so fragile. Everything in me felt like it was breaking.

Invasion of space- Meaning that everything in my household was about to change.

Invasion of privacy- Meaning people would be all in my business and I did not like it.

Lumpectomy on August 18, 2016.

Biopsy

Next step was to have a biopsy.  I was making sure the hospital had a payment plan because I had no insurance, the woman said, “You may also have to have an ultrasound that day. The ultrasound appointment is already set for 1:00. This made me a little nervous.“No one said anything to me about an ultrasound. Why would I need that?” The lady didn’t know, so she transferred me to someone else. The ultrasound would only be done if the doctors felt like it needed to be done, so the appointment was made just in case.

I decided I had better tell my parents. My mom said it would probably be nothing. I had a benign place taken out when I was sixteen years old. I found it through self-examination.

After everything was finished, I called my daughter. “I had the biopsy and they did an ultrasound.”

“I didn’t think you were going to need that.”

“I didn’t either, but I did. I saw it on the mammogram. It’s really small.”

They said I would have the results in 48 to 72 hours, which meant Friday at the latest.

Unbeknownst to me, I got a call at work on Wednesday, August 3^rd, 2016 telling me to come to Medlink right away. When I got there, they told me about the results of the biopsy.

I came home.  I was crying when I came through the door. My daughter asked, “What? What is it, Mama?” She asked.

“I’ve got carcinoma.” I was shocked. My daughter was shocked. It’s something you never expect and something you are never prepared for.

I am a believer and I thought I would never have to go through anything like this.